A funny thing happened the other night.

I went out the other night with the idea of having a nightcap. I was walking down by the docks trying to find the scummiest and tough bar in the whole city. Let's face it, if I don't challenge myself in every aspect of my life that would not be extreme. And if it isn't extreme it isn't Burt. I found a nice little nook called Timmy O'Shitty's. As I walked in a bottle was immeadiately broken over my head. As I wiped the blood off of my face I thought to myself 'this is one hell of a bar.' It had all the types of thing a good bar does. They had darts, pool, and in the basement Northern California's largest cock fighting ring. There were no matches scheduled for that evening, but it is good to know. The patrons have also built a community that has scheduled events they take very seriously. It just so happened to be "KNIFE FIGHT NIGHT" on Thursdays at O'Shitty's. I decided to be a spectator for the evening. Instead of trying to take the life of someone, again, I turned my attention to the bar and began one of the most legendary benders in recent history. O'Shitty's only serves whiskey and tequila. Therefore, it was only obvious that I would mix them together and begin challenging strangers to contests that included push ups, pull ups, and arm wrestling. The Bartender made some comment about how he couldn't serve me after 2. I did what any other logical drunk would. I threw up on the man and walked home in a drunken rage. I do plan on going back though for "BRING YOUR GUN TUESDAYS."