So it has finally come to this... WAR!

Ooooooh... some times you make me so mad I just want to get sick all over myself. In no way could anyone in my family look this way. There is no way I am related to those sissy nancies Sienfried and Roy Toy. Do me a favor and build an army. Since I no longer can tell people about all my extreme and extraordinary stunts and triumphs I have decided to declare war upon you Craig T. Satisfaction. Did you see how I did not call you doctor? I did that on purpose. I have started to build my legion of worshippers.

I hope that you have at least one friend, nerd. This time we play for keeps. I ask all of you to swear allegiance, or die by my He-man Sword.

What up Doc

It's been a few days and still no response. Hey nerd, try to get some balls and respond. Oh thats right, your problem is that you do not have any balls. I also heard you can't use your right leg. I am sitting down just waiting for you to get up on your good leg and write for two seconds.

Dr. Satisfaction is really starting to piss me off

Hey I think I am going to break your stupid head open. How dare you question my dreams. I bet if you had any dreams of you own this wouldn't be happening. Maybe you can do something more with you life than just being a lousy doctor.

This guy sucks so bad. Yet, i would like you to examine some of Craig's friends

Oh and I also thought I would put up a few pictures from Craig's family photo album.

So what he's animated

That cat has tried to duplicate my love for lasagna and nack for sleeping hours at a time. I invented those things due to my extreme habits. The lasagna gives you strength that can make you do two times what a normal man can. The sleeping enables me to stay up for days. It allows me to come up with intricate plots like cloning t-rex's on Mars and building my space hanglider. If that little cat thinks he can beat me to Mars he is stupid. I may just make a visit to my pal John Arbuckle. Better wise up cat. Wise up quick.

I Surfed JAWS

That's right. It is an amazing wave. I must say I was a bit skeptical as to how I wanted to approach it. I thought that tons of people ride it the same way, so why should I. I know that all these weiners have to get towed in, and that they use special boards with all these straps on them. I just thought that it would be gnarly if I used a tray from Taco Bell. I did not get towed in. I swam beneath the beast, and when I saw a wave with my terrific underwater vision a swam right into it. I was super deep in the barrel when I almost had to put both feet on the tray. I eventually did a flip in the middle of the barrel and rode out smoothly. I lost the tray when I catapulted myself from the wave to the nearby cliffs. Tasty waves, good buzz.