Lately I have been thinking about why I don’t have a nickname. Sure, Burt is a pretty sweet name in and of itself but I would really like to have a nickname. The problem is that nobody has given me one. I am a man of etiquette, and following those principals it would be rude of me to decide on a nickname for myself. It has to be chosen for me. Like my good friend Catfish Lamson. Now his name isn’t really Catfish, but that is one hell of a nickname. I want to have a nickname that jumps out at you and says “BOOYEA” or something of equal volume. I can also tell you what I don’t want. Remember that episode of Seinfeld were George is trying to persuade people to call him T-bone and he ends up with Coco for a nickname instead? I don’t want that to happen. That is why I have decided to open this up for debate. Please let me know what you think my nickname should be. Try to make it sound really macho.
What happened to Mr. Yes? Or did you start saying No again? You cheeky bastard. Ahh Burt, when we used to wash dishes at Pizza Hut, I remember the pepporoni placement coordinator called you Dishpan. You want a nick name, a nick name!!??? You have had a nickname. You forget your roots easily. Maybe I should call you Rootless D....
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