SELLECK WATERFALL SANDWiCH

If you are going to do one thing in life it arguably could be visiting the blog Selleck Waterfall Sandwich . This blog delivers exactly what it says it will with tremendous artistry and passion. I worked on my own little homage to the the concept as a tribute. However, I hardly do the medium any justice. Take some time for yourself today and get lost in a land of enchantment, wonder and mustaches.

RAMBO 2 STYLE

Don't think I forgot about you Wednesday! I still hate your stinking guts. Today I started thinking about how great it would be if you were getting tortured like Stallone in Rambo: First Blood Part 2. You know, the part where they keep dipping Rambo into some type of poo pool with diarrhea leeches in it. In and out of the pool all day long. That's my dream Wednesday. Next week I will set you up on the metal bedspring and pump 10000 volts into you. I hope everyone elses day is great.

Fun Fact:
"Rambo: First Blood Part II" (1985)
Total Body Count: 69
Kill Count Per Minute: 0.72
Torture Scenes: 5
Time of First Death In Film: 33min 34sec
Good Guys Killed: 1
Bad Guys Killed By Rambo: 58
Bad Guys Killed By Supporting Characters: 10

D SQUARED: ORIGINAL GANGSTER

I am no longer surprised that D2 got into amateur porn after his stint at Bayside. It was the only logical choice that he had. When you are this baller there is no where to go but up. The only thing that would make this picture more awesome is if they had a young AC Slater representing Go-Bots.

THIS KID HAS "IT"

Mini Daddy - watch more funny videos

Many thanks to the wonderful Andy McDev for sending me this amazing video. My Spanish is a bit rusty but I think this kid is rapping about world peace or cheetos.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BITE AND WE WILL TELL YOU

FREE PUDDING DUDES (GUITAR RIFF)

I watched Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure last night. At the end when they are presenting their totally awesome history presentation something came to my attention. No, besides the fact that Bill and Ted get to use the lighting system and that for some reason these history papers had to be presented in front of the entire school(San Dimas High School Football Rules!!! And so does history!). The thing that I didn't get is where all the pudding came from. In most of the crowd reaction shots, the San Dimans(?) are all destroying cups of pudding. These snacks are not seen during all the boring presentations but once B & T get on stage everyone gets pudding. I think that this is supposed to be some type of metaphor for something.

UTAH!!!

WHAT IS THE WEST COAST GUIDO?

I have no idea what the equivalent of a guido is out on the west coast. Hippies, surfers? IOnce I find out you can bet that I have a reality show deal in place. This group of people can all come work in the chocolate covered banana hut I plan to purchase in Huntington beach. It will have some word associated with beach or coast or shore in the title.

THURSDAYS ON UHF

IT'S EITHER THIS OR A REALITY SHOW

I think I found a way to finally find true love (my reality show Cock of Love did not "work" for VH1). Beautiful People is a dating website for those of us who are ridiculously good looking but don't have the time to go out and meet people in public. They are so committed to serving their clientèle that after the holidays they booted over two thousand members for gaining too much weight. Maybe I should let the super P.R. savvy founder of the site, Robert Hintze, explain the business decision;


As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.



Hell yeah Robert. Fuck all those stupid fat people looking for love. Guys like us need to stick together. Ugly and fat people just don't get what it's like to be on our level. When I go on my creepy internet dating site I want to make sure there aren't a bunch of six and sevens who think they are nines and tens.

WHERE ARE ALL THE FLYING CARS?

I just don't get it. Shouldn't we have flying cars by now? When I was watching movies during my more formative years they always implied that by 2010 we would at least have some sort of flying conveyance. I am not expecting that everyone has terminators, laser guns and a vacation spot on the moon, but I did expect cars that could fly. Sure, a few people have been able to build "prototypes", but that's simply slang for "car you will never drive." I am looking to one of the major car companies to stop caring so much about the doggoned environment and start making cars that can fly, or at least drive themselves.