God Damned Breakfast Machine

My Rube Goldberg breakfast machine didn't work this morning and I am a hot little pepper as a result of that. Admit ably, I was not very alert when I woke up and I may have forgotten to put the egg in the machine and put the toast on my pterodactyl. I had no idea that the result of that would be a three alarm fire and severe burns over my entire body. I think that I have learned my lesson when it comes to cooking. If I am going to use an elaborate machine to cook breakfast I should probably start working on a robot butler. A robot butler whose specialty is omelettes.