Wednesday, January 06, 2010

IT'S EITHER THIS OR A REALITY SHOW


I think I found a way to finally find true love (my reality show Cock of Love did not "work" for VH1). Beautiful People is a dating website for those of us who are ridiculously good looking but don't have the time to go out and meet people in public. They are so committed to serving their clientèle that after the holidays they booted over two thousand members for gaining too much weight. Maybe I should let the super P.R. savvy founder of the site, Robert Hintze, explain the business decision;


As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.



Hell yeah Robert. Fuck all those stupid fat people looking for love. Guys like us need to stick together. Ugly and fat people just don't get what it's like to be on our level. When I go on my creepy internet dating site I want to make sure there aren't a bunch of six and sevens who think they are nines and tens.

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