Monday, March 07, 2005

The new extreme sports suck

All these people keep telling me how extreme all these new sports are. People will always have arguements over what is the most extreme of all sports. I have finally decided to reveal the answer. The truth is that they are all equal in extremeness. That is if you follow old proffesor Burt's guide to rock'n out with your cock out. First, if you plan on big wave surfing try surfing with a great white shark instead of a surfboard. When skydiving with buddies pack one of the chutes up with dirty laundry then have everyone pick up their pack at random. This adds for a more exteme rush and also people begin to learn how to survive falls from that type of distance. Bungee jump over areas with wild animals. Attach rockets to your skateboard. Only snowboard in avalanches. And try playing chess against one of the old guys down on market. I cannot give you all my extreme secrets so I implore you to try other routes. But just remember, if you can walk away from it without a scratch you obviously must not be trying. Now get out there and get Jiggy Wit It.
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