Friday, April 18, 2008

Shit Damn

I tell you what. I come out of my house this morning and I see that the gas price has reached the unthinkable level of $4.00. Flabbergasted would be the word of choice in this situation. What is this gas made out of anyways, Chuck Norris’s tears and unicorn horns? I would understand if that was the case because both of those items are extremely rare. Yet, it is just oil. This has led me to the ultimate conclusion. It is time for me to sell my car.
That’s right I am going to be putting my T Top IROC-Z on the market in order to purchase a more gas efficient vehicle. Now its going to be real tough getting rid of this little beauty. It’s got a lot of extra special features that all you book learned elitists don’t have enough appreciation for. That airbrushed painting on the hood of an Aztec Goddess sacrificing a lamb on top of an old ruin in a thunderstorm was custom made for yours truly. I also had a pretty sweet nitrous system in there for that extra kick in top gear, or as I like to call it the panty banisher. Finally, I had rewired my window cleaners to point into the car. Why you might ask? It’s because I pour whiskey into the window cleaning tank. Anyways, she was a real beauty, but it is time to move on.
I have been looking through the auto traders and I can’t find a god damned thing that makes me feel good about selling my car. So I am going to do the most logical thing and buy a golf cart. I am just hoping that I will be able to get it airbrushed, and that my electricity bill isn’t too high.

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