Sweeps week

Well it finally happened. After all my years of sending in head shots I am going to be doing some work during sweeps week. I am talking about on camera work. Yours truly has been given a contract to appear on the Hills. Yes, those Hills. They wanted a really hunky guy to be the new love interest. For whom you might ask? All of the people on the show, that’s who. MTV has taken into account the raw sexuality that I exude and think that I would be the perfect fit for every character on the show. Both the guys and girls will fall for this new hunk. Basically, I am going to come onto the scene as a hardened east coast bad boy with a cloudy past that lives by his own rules and loves Yaeger Bombs. It doesn’t matter that I am actually from the west coast because my east coast accent is dead on. You just have to use a lot of “HEYYY” and “OHHHHHHH” in your regular conversations. Example;

“HEYYYYY yo honey get ova here and let me get a better look at that ass of yous….OHHHHHHHH!”

I am going to go to all the hip clubs and accidentally bump into different groups that are on the show. Maybe I will even be dj’ing because a lot of people do that I am told. Within a week I will probably have already been mentioned as a love interest for all the people on the show. Of course, there will have to be a point when I have to break everyone’s hearts and leave the show. I am hoping that the reason is the secret service couldn’t find a recruit worthy enough to guard the presidents dogs, so off I head back to the east coast. There will be tears and I am sure that one of stars will have something really deep to say like, “did that juss really HAPPEN (blank stare devoid of any brain waves).” I will get a little emotional and explain that this is something I have to do, but that when I am done I will come back, which is really a lie because I never plan on being on the show again. What I really want is my own spin-off.