Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Legend of Santa Cat

Santa Cat was born in Santa’s workshop to a three legged cat named Florence. When he came out of the womb it was clear that he was special because his ears had been fused together to look like a little Santa hat. A Christmas miracle some would say. Santa, not one to ignore a sign, took a keen interest in the tiniest of the litter and like the great George Foreman he named this new child after himself. He also gave him a small little Santa cap of his own to cover his ears and a green bow tie made from elf clothes. It made him look really cute, nay adorable. Over time Santa Cat became the favorite of all of Santa’s cats and he was the only one ever allowed to ride with Santa in the sleigh. This pissed off the reindeer for some time. Especially Prancer, but he was kind of a jerk off anyways. Over time he made the reindeer see how valuable he was. For like Rudolph, Santa Cat proved extremely valuable in helping Santa deliver presents to all the boys and girls. If Santa was tired from all the cookies and milk Santa Cat would take over the deliveries. Another thing to note is that Santa Cat gains magical powers from drinking the tears of naughty children who Santa gives coal to. It is the secret to his everlasting life.

So kids, when you get tucked into bed at the end of the night make sure you keep those ears open. If you are lucky you may just hear Santa Cat purring as he helps Santa deliver your presents. If you aren’t lucky, you more than likely will feel the scratch of his tongue as he licks away the tears from your face because you just got a sack of coal.

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