Tuesday, August 05, 2008

My god damned fucking arm


Shit it hurts. I have no fucking clue but for some reason it feels like my arm is in a state or permanent sleep. The second it feels like the pain is going away it shoots right back into my elbow and reminds me, even in my old age, that I am not invincible. I am not reffering to that movie that stared Mak Walbag. I am talking about walking through walls superman type invincible. I have compiled a short list of possible reasons that my arm feels this way. One of these has to be the reason for my pain;

Masturbating

Pulling the anchor for a crab fishing boat up with my bare hands in a field of ice during king crab season

I have recently had a stroke on the right side of my body and I am simply just toughing it out so that others don’t see any sign of weakness

I slept on it wrong

Masturbating

Playing tug of war against a gorilla

Throwing a football three hundred yards

The experimental procedure to see if I could possibly get a machine gun arm

Illegal immigrants

Giving myself HJ’s (Also see Masturbating)

Being a night club deejay

Holding up those 32 ounce beers at the concert this weekend

All of those are logical conclusions but in the end I think I might not go with any of them. I think that the real reason that my arm hurts so much is that I had to drink some Cheladas this weekend. It surely is the devils brew. I hate you Conor.

2 comments:

5thyear said...

jimmy = chelada-do
mike = chelada-don't

cocktayl said...

there is another conor you hate more than me? absurd i say, abfuckinsurd.