Thursday, October 02, 2008

Somebody's going shopping

I have to admit. I have been down in the dumps recently. It feels like the world is caving in around me and that I am struggling just to keep my head above water. You see, I am going bald, in my pubes. It is terribly embarrassing. You think about it all day and night. It makes you think twice about taking your clothes off in order to make love to a sweet lady. I haven’t had sex with the lights on in months. This is never what I would have expected to feel like when I started to lose hair around little Burt. Close friends would recommend that I throw caution to the wind and shave it all off. Yet, I just can’t do that. It feels like I would be denying myself my manliness. The hair down there is just as important as the silken locks on the top of my head (which look great BTW). Now a new hope burns inside of me, I am going to purchase a merkin;

Merkin – Imitation pubic hair. A pubic wig.

That’s right! I’m back. It’s a whole new world for me. I feel like my confidence is going to be back. That old swagger is going to return. Along with the lights when I make sexuals raaaarrrrrrr. The biggest decision that I have to make now is the style of my merkin. Should I go with the low key brown curly wig or should I try that multicolor emo look. I might even buy a bunch of different ones to mix it up. I am open to suggestions and would love to hear what kind of merkin you think I should get.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Burt
I haven't had this problem yet but it's good to know about the "merkin"
I love your site because it really makes me think about things I would just normally kind of "walk on by"
Like the angry ice cream man or the way people pull their socks up all the way. You really blow my mind. keep up the good work.