Friday, November 21, 2008

I would have knocked Swayze out

I was watching Roadhouse the other night and one scene in particular really made me think about Swayze and his cooling techniques that he employs throughout the film. Swayze’s character Daulton definitely has a nuanced manner of dealing with people that are disruptive at the bar. He employs the Mantra “BE NICE” in dealing with customers that are having a little too much fun. Basically, he wants his bouncers to try and diffuse the issue without violence so that the attitude in the bar makes one feel safe. With that being said I think that he is not particularly fair to one of the patrons in the beginning of the film.

The particular scene that I am speaking about is Swayze’s first night on the job. He has laid out the ground rules to the employees of what he expects and often repeats his “BE NICE” theory of handling things. The night starts off pretty standard but as the drinking increases so does the rowdiness. One chesty patron decides that the band isn’t enough to entertain the crowd and takes it upon herself to add a little spice to the evening. She gets up on a table and starts dancing to the delight of many and they disapproval of one, Swayze. So PS looks at one of the bouncers and tells him to get her down. Well that’s not happening because one particularly drunk dude with an awesome Hawaiian shirt on does not want this party to stop (why should he?). He throws the one bouncer out of the way and goes back to enjoying the show. Well Swayze has seen enough and goes over to diffuse the situation. By “diffuse the situation” I mean he goes over and gets the guy to pull a knife on him before throwing this dude’s head through a table. This is then followed by a tremendously intense hair whip. In the movie this seems like a pretty reasonable action to be taken by Swayze but I actually have a big problem with what this whole situation. Hear me out for a second.

This bar, the Double Deuce, has been a shithole for years. It is a bar where the band has to play behind chicken wire and the waitresses are selling drugs to the patrons. Swayze expects that his first night on the job people are just going to learn a whole new way to get drunk at their favorite bar. If I am going to a bar with sawdust on the floor I am expecting for all types of crazy shit to happen. Also, I am at least bringing some type of rudimentary weapon in case somebody thinks that I may be a little harsh with my criticism of the band or I have been looking at their woman too long. So imagine that you are in cool Hawaiian shirt guy’s shoes. You are in a bar ogling some dancing floozy and then this guy who is about 5’2” with a gigantic feathered mane of hair comes up and tells you to knock it off. What the fuck? Of course I am going to pull out a weapon and tell this guy to piss off. The one notable exception is that I would have not gotten my head thrown through a table. I would have taken it to the floor and painted his face with my fists of justice. All I need is a line better than the guy at the end who explains that he used to fuck guys like Swayze in prison.


jtuel said...

that is such an awesome scene, and doesn't he also fire the bartender that is stealing from the till. My favorite part is when he gets into a fight with the denim dan henchman who does the sweetest roundhouse of all time

Burt said...

He basically cleans house. That denim guy is the one who uses the prison sex line. He also has the Barry Bonds like hanging cross earing.

Brian said...

Denim Dan the Henchman was an all state Florida State Safety who got kicked off the team for using roids and beating his wife, than he turned his life around, found Jesus and began acting. Immediately after the movie came out, Denim Dan resorted back to steroids and cocaine, but this time he actually put his strength and energy into something good. He became an alligator wrestler in the Bayou and supposed for an extra fee you can watch him perform sex acts while the local townies prepare you fried catfish... hhmmm appetizing.

Anonymous said...

It breaks down like this....

Burt vs "To Wong Foo" Swayze = Draw

Burt vs "Ghost" Swayze = SWAYZE SPLIT DECISION

Burt vs "Dirty Dancing" Swayze = SWAYZE UNANIMOUS DECISION

Burt vs "Roadhouse" Swayze = SWAYZE FIRST ROUND MUTHA FUCKIN KO!