Tuesday, November 25, 2008

They should make No Holds Barred 2

At the pinnacle of Hulk Hogan’s career he graced the silver screen with a tour de force acting performance as the wrestler simply known as Rip in No Holds Barred. He literally does not have a last name in the movie. It is just Rip. Among other retarded things about this movie is the synopsis that is featured on IMDB;

Rip is the World Wrestling Federation champion who is faithful to his fans and the network he wrestles for. Brell, the new head of the World Television Network, wants Rip to wrestle for his network. Rip refuses and goes back to his normal life. Still looking for a way to raise ratings, Brell initiates a show called "The Battle of the Tough Guys", a violent brawling competition. A mysterious man, Zeus, wins the competition. This gets Brell to use him as an angle to get at Rip.

What the synopsis fails to mention is that Rips’s little brother in the movie tries to fight on "The Battle of the Tough Guys" and he gets his face beat in by Zeus. Not just his face but pretty much his entire body. He is laid up in his hospital bed when Rip comes to speak with him. It is a very tender moment with a lot of “brothers” and arm flexing. In my younger more formative years it made me a bit teary eyed. Wait, there was a point I was trying to make. Oh yes, they should make another one of these movies. However, I think we should go in a unique direction as far as second films go.

They should make this movie as a re-imagining not a sequel. This is the perfect way for this film to be made again. I mean how sweet was Batman Begins? Imagine, if you will, that the Hulkster is reprising his role as Rip. Only this time we could make him be at the back end of his career, just like in real life. He could once again be approached by this Brell character to fight in his new show. Rip will again decline the offer and say that he wants to go out on top. This is where the story takes a new turn.

After being rebuffed by Rip, Brell decides to extend the offer to Rip’s children played by his real life son and daughter. Nick Hogan will be taking over the role of Rip’s brother. Brooke will be playing the role of Zeus. You see, Brell will offer the two siblings contracts only if they fight each other in the very first fight. Of course they accept, and then Brooke obliterates Nick (obviously, She’s huge!) putting him into a coma just like the real life one his “friend” is in. We could even take out a chunk of his head. This sets the stage for a repeat of the emotional hospital scene in which Rip vows to seek revenge on the person that did this to his family.

The final scene of the movie will be a battle to the death between Hulk and Brooke. They will fight through a shopping mall and obliterate walls and store fronts in one of the most epic one on one battles in cinema history. They will fight all the way to the top floor where, at the same time, they each grab one another and fall down three stories in a double fatal power slam. The medic arrives and after checking and finding no pulse on either of them gets tears in his eyes and does one final three second count. 1….2….3….! Then they head to a shot of Nick still in the coma and then there is a three second count on the vitals 1…..2….3…. flatline!!! Fade to black.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

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