Thursday, June 04, 2009

Pregnant Chicks!!!

The other evening my buddy, the Perezidente, and I were ruminating on world politics and the benefits of hedge funds when the conversation shifted gears. It seems that the commander and chief has a little something for the ladies with child. Yep, pregger ladies. We didn’t get into too much but he stated that it was something he had thought about doing for some time and was contemplating when to put the plan into action. I didn’t think about it much myself at first. At first. You see the more I think about it the better it sounds (not for myself mind you. It is illegal for me to be with a woman anywhere in the world because of my dynamic and life threatening love making) Here are a few of the reasons that I can see this working.

If a lady is pregnant you won’t have to feel like a pig when you’re a rummaging for pickles in the fridge at 4 in the morning. She would most likely ask for one as well.

There are going to be a lot of mood swings. That kind of drama can make for some explosive makeup sex. RAWRRRR.

Bigger boobs.

You aren’t going to feel bad about wearing clothes with elastic in the waist band. Your wardrobe is going to get about 64% (study done in July) more comfortable. Sweat pants and slippers all of the time!!!

Fatigue is also going to be a tremendous factor. Nights on the town are going to be at a minimum. No more fancy dinners (I only eat hungry man so I wouldn’t know what that is like).

Bigger boobs.

So I would like to salute this man for his ability to think outside of the box. I think that this is a tremendous approach to dating that most men or women (Burt has much love for the same sex couples) would not initially contemplate. So if you know a hot pregnant lady who is looking for love but thinks she is out of luck shoot me an email. I will have the Perezidente swoop you up in Air Force Juan.


AL ONION said...

Stay away from my wife Perezidente!

Shes 6 months large!

Andy said...

You can't get a pregnant chick pregnant, no rubbers, no pullin out. . . BANG on Perezidente!