Thursday, June 19, 2008

Get out of my home

A major story as of late in Berkeley has been the ongoing standoff between UC Berkeley and environmental groups in regards to some trees near the campus. The issue is that the school wants to cut these trees down in order to break ground on a new athletic facility. This was not taken well by many environmental groups in the area and in a response they have climbed the trees and set up camp. People have now been living in these trees for well over a year. The school has tried to make many efforts to get the people out of the trees, many of which have not stopped the people protecting the trees from remaining in them as a residence. Well, it looks as though more force has been used as of late and the argument is reaching a crescendo.

I really don’t have a particular feeling one way or another as to how this issue turns out. However, I enjoy a good squabble and there is nothing like completely different people trying to change eachother’s viewpoint through loud words and mean faces. I decided to head on down to Berkeley and see what all the fuss was about. When I got there I was surprised to realize that people were so caught up in their arguments that no one would speak with me about how this situation made them feel. So I did the next best thing. Using my gift of speaking with animals I had a chance to speak with a young squirrel named Larry. Larry is from Oakland but now lives in one of the trees in question. We talked at length about the situation but I think these were his most poignant remarks;

You know quite frankly I am ready for this to end. I love my tree but these hippies are horrible roommates. They just sit up here all day listening to Jam band music and eating granola bars. Do you know what shit smells like when all you eat is granola bars? It is horrible to me and I am a fucking animal. Even more unnerving is the smell of these guys. If you didn’t know already, trees don’t have showers in them. Mix that with the already normally poor hygiene of my newest roommates and you have a relative stinkapalooza. If I have to listen to one more of these assholes talk about what they are doing to save the environment and the world I am going to snap. Yes sir, I am sure that the utopian society you speak of were everybody like “does stuff” for one another can exist but lets focus on the now.

It is pretty obvious that Larry has a few problems with the current state of affairs but looks at life with a grain of salt. Besides, he said that there are a lot of other trees out there, so if he has to move on he can.

1 comment:

Dr. Satisfaction said...

Where do these people relieve themselves in the morning? I mean I'm a'rumblin' half way through my morning coffee. Bombs away? That's not the utopia I want to live in. Any hey you fucking hippy swine, why don't you get down from that tree and go plant 10 more ya fucking dill weed.
Go bears