Friday, June 20, 2008

Well if your so god damned smart how come you can’t do 100 pushups?

Well Einstein, I am waiting. Sure, you may be able to describe to me the difference between types of elements on the periodic table, but I bet you can’t do 1000 situps before breakfast. What’s that you say? You were head of your class at Harvard law and you had a 4.0 grade point average. Well LADI Fucking DAH Florence Nightengale. I would bet pretty good money that you can’t run the 100 yard dash in less than twelve seconds on your best day. Sure you may be book learned and know how to work a computer, but I can bench press 500 hundred pounds 3 times. I guess what I am saying is that people will always try to one up you with irrelevant facts about their education history or their big ole brain capacity, but in the end it comes down to one thing. If a pickup truck fell on top of someone in front of you would you be able to pick it up and save that persons life? I didn’t think so jackass.


AL ONION said...

Well well well Mr. muscles. Your hypothetical pickup truck scenario had the myelin sheaths of my nuerons perculating. I don't need your brawn to save the day. I would simply use a lever with fulcrum thus hoisting the vehicle off the victim. It is my favorite simple machine, the lever. Besides your question is obsolete, the chances of a pickup falling on someone a very very slim. You lose again Burt

Mickey said...

Hey Al, what do you mean the chance of a pickup falling on somebody is slim? SLIM? It happens ever 2 minutes in a Bruce Willis movie. That's real, isn't it? Wait until I tell Santa on you. You'll be sorry.

AL ONION said...

Mickey, that is indeed an interesting point you raise. The danger and sheer number of flying vehicles that John Maclain, Hudson Hawk, or crotchety oil drilling dude face is a supreme outlier compared to the average population. Please don't waste my time. And leave Santa out of this - dammit!