Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Demolition Man = Window to the Future?
Last night I was at home flipping through the channels when I came upon one of 1993’s biggest action films, Demolition Man. This movie gave us a look at what life will be like in San Angeles (Los Angeles) 60 years from now. It is a pretty fantastical imagination of what we can expect in our future. From having Taco Bells as every restaurant to using three sea shells as a means of cleaning up after going to the bathroom, this movie really made some bold predictions. The scary part is that they may be true.
At a certain point in the movie Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes) has broken out of the cryogenic lab where they freeze the prisoners. He was unfrozen for a parole hearing. I know it’s ridiculous but bear with me. In the next scene the police are trying to figure who would have broken out of the lab that day and they start going through the records of criminals that had parole hearings. Right before they get to Simon Phoenix the prisoner who had a hearing before him comes up on the list. It is Scott Peterson, the guy who killed his wife and unborn child, an all around piece of shit. At first I laughed at the coincidence and then I started to get scared.
What if Demolition Man can predict the future? What if all the things that this movie prophesizes will come true? If that is the case I had a few thoughts;
If there is a family that has the last name Phoenix and they name their child Simon and he happens to be a black child with blonde hair we might want to keep some tabs on him. Maybe try to work on some positive reinforcement and nature camps.
We are going to have to figure out how these sea shells work. I don’t want to be the guy who is still using toilet paper. I think that in the future you would get a lot of shit for that.
Get used to having diarrhea. If all the restaurants are Taco Bells this does not bode well for my anus.
I should get all of the swear words out of my system or risk getting fines every time I say something. Cock, fuck, shit, damn, horsefucker.
Finally, if we can’t bump uglies in the future because we have to wear stupid sex helmets I will most likely just kill myself.
Good God, I hope that Demolition Man is not a window to our future.