Thursday, January 08, 2009
Rich People Club
Has anyone noticed the rash of Millionaires and Billionaires that have committed suicide lately? It seems that every other day CNN of FOX has a news story that talks about how some rich guy killed himself because he was losing considerable amounts of money in our current financial crisis. It seems that this is the only way that these people think they can get out. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, you would rather kill yourself than face the possibility of getting rid of the house in Aspen and giving up on the idea of building that gigantic new garage to house all your vintage cars. It really makes me question what it is that the loss of money means to people like this. Would all the other rich people make fun of you? Does the air not smell as sweet when you dip below the Billion Net worth mark? I keep trying to think of a way to explain what is happening and after careful thought I could only come up with one theory. Rich people have a secret club.
When you get to a certain level of affluence you become eligible to join the rich person club. Most likely, the headquarters for this club is located on some uninhabited island or is some type of ice fortress. At this place all the rich people have exotic animals that man has never seen, this includes dinosaurs, bigfoots and unicorns. Everyone has access to UFO’s to fly into space. You can eat ice cream for breakfast and have eggs for dinner. I would also imagine that there are no rules and plenty of servants to go around, most likely some sort of monkey butler. Seriously, there has to be something like that because you wouldn’t kill yourself for being less rich. Right?