Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Greatest insult of all time?

I get into shit with people all the time. Why? Because I am an ornery old cuss that’s why! Whether it’s arguing about the price of stamps or waiting in line for a public restroom disagreements are bound to come up. When one tends to get in these situations it helps to have insults to punctuate the point that is being made. They also add fuel to the fire if you want the disagreement to venture into fisticuffs (I usually do because of my unhealthy bloodlust). This morning I was reading a very informative article from Joe Eskenazi of SFweekly that talks about the rise of douchebag as a major derogatory term in the lexicon of American insults. However, he takes it one step further and drops this knowledge nugget about his findings on international insults that carry some serious weight. His findings are as follows;

Yet among those who study profanity for a living, the douchebag is kid stuff. Reinhold Aman of Cotati publishes Maledicta “the international journal of verbal aggression.” He rattles off a series of curses that knock the vinegar out of douchebag:
“I shit in the beard if your father” (Persia); “Your mother’s milk is camel piss” (the Arab world); “Your parents have diseased genitals” (Ghana); and “I fuck the soul of your dead mother” (Serbian Gypsies). He hesitates before revealing the most vile, horrific curse he’s ever come across, a lament from Hungary’s peasantry: “Oh God, stop slapping me with your cock all covered with shit from fucking Jesus.”

Now THAT is an insult. To think that for years I have been using words like dipshit, fuckhole, and pederass to get under peoples skin. This article has opened a whole new world to me. I feel like I have a new wind beneath my wings upon which I can fly into the verbally abusive skies much higher than ever before.


jtuel said...

i am going to start incorporating all of those into my daily vocabulary

Burt Destruction said...

As am I sir... As am I.