Monday, January 05, 2009

Top Trend of 2009: Body Slams


It is a new year my friends and I can’t be more excited. A new year means that we have a clean slate in front of us. Out with the old and in with the new, or so they say. I can safely say that this year’s trends have not had any time to establish themselves but I have a pretty good idea what some of them might be. If you will humor me here are some trends I see happening in 2009;

Old people doing drugs
This past year the talk centered on Senior citizens and their foray into new types of activities like playing the Wii and not shitting themselves in public. It is only a matter of time before these old timers become wise to another type of fad that has swept the youth culture of America, DRUGS! It makes perfect sense. Here are a bunch of people with tons of time on their hands and the disposable income to maintain that type of habit. I would get used to seeing a bunch of bleary eyed blue hairs checking out the latest Pixar film for the fifth time while decimating the popcorn supply at your local theatre. The scariest thing is that they already have tons of access to meds and with a little creativity and sharing our older generations will be flying high in ’09.

Backwards hats
I don’t know when this phenomenon died but it is surely up for resurrection in ’09. The style of late is to barely wear the hat on your head at all. Well, I am wearing my hat backwards right now and it looks dope. I am also contemplating that keeping the tags on the hat may make a comeback in conjunction with the backward style.

Sweatpants
They are going to become the new dress casual at work places across the country.

Sandwiches
I really feel that this might be the year for sandwiches to top burritos as the go to lunch time or dinner grind. Burritos are delicious but they have enjoyed their time in the sun for far too long. I base most of this argument on the fact that I have found Ike's Place , which has the greatest sandwiches I have ever eaten in my life. Sorry burrito.

Body Slams
This is my top trend for ’09. Over the years the body slam has become a lost art. It is a devastating way to end any argument and the hurt that it throws down is palpable. I just know that in regards to body slams I will be THE trend setter this year.
Having a problem settling the bill with friends?
BODY SLAM
Still trying to lose that extra 10 pounds you have been talking about for a while?
BODY SLAM
Don’t want to pay your bills?
BODY SLAM
Sick and tired of that douchebag at the office who walks around with an air of superiority because they think that they run the place?
TOP ROPE BODY SLAM!

You get the point.

Let me know what you think your trends for 09’ will be.

2 comments:

Laura said...

You are hilarious. I love your blog and take on life. Happy New Year to you and to yours.

Skinny Stewart said...

I think that idea of body slamming is great...but in terms of feasability, well, im not sure. What are the body slamming boundaries? Are the age and weight restrictions here? Are the very young and elderly off limits here? There are a lot of old people that piss me off...