Friday, May 15, 2009

It’s not like I’ve been lazy

This past week I may have missed posting on a day or two but it hasn’t been because I am lazy. It also hasn’t been because I have been too busy with work (damn this cure for cancer!). I even had swine flu for a few weeks but that didn’t slow me down (when your body is carefully sculpted granite like mine you tend to ignore silly little “life threatenting diseases”). No, the reason I didn’t post a few times this week is because I was stabbed in an alley during a confrontation with members of the local yakuza.

From time to time I dabble in the import/export business. I have recently been making a killing on backscratchers. The model I sell is the AROG2000. It is a beautifully crafted wooden backscratcher that has two massage balls in the handle (retail $.99). Most of my sales have been going through a small group of stores in Japan town. The other day I went to make a delivery and one of my customers was not very pleased with the last shipment of scratchers. It turns out that the last batch may or may not have been water damaged in an unfortunate accident at sea. The customer tells me that he wants the next shipment free. I told him to kick rocks. He tells me he is in the Yakuza. I tell him that I am in the Brotherhood. He pulls of his shirt and brandishes a knife. I take off my shirt and spit at him. He stabs me in my gut and pays me for both shipments. I get into my car and drive to the nearest animal hospital to get stitched up.

I guess that is just the way that business is done with the Yakuza. It is new to me but I always will adapt to ensure repeat business. It has already paid off. They want two orders next week. So, I may have not posted two times this week, but I did get stabbed and sold two more boxes of scratchers. Advantage Burt.

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