Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Watch out for Stephanie the Warlock


I have spoken about this one time before but it has to be mentioned again. Stephanie, the tremendous bitch (imagine a gargoyle that mated with a banshee) that lives below me graced me with her presence this Saturday morning. She of course came to complain that there was too much movement and sound coming from my apartment for her liking on a Saturday morning. She is obviously in an easy spot to complain as she lives on the first floor and doesn’t have to deal with people underneath her. For the love of fuck, I have to live under these bongo playing hippies that listen to that song over the rainbow by that gigantic Hawaiian guy about three times a day at least. Do you know how many times I have gone up to their place? Zero. Why Zero? It might have something to do with my poor hearing or general tolerance for noise. Or it could be that I have a life and don’t come up to people’s apartments to express my dissatisfaction with theirs. Listen lady, it is pretty clear what is going on here. You are stupid humorless woman who has little to do in her life except for inviting hairless German teens over to your house while your spandex clad boyfriend is off at pilates. Get bent, you cave dwelling monster.

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