Thursday, February 19, 2009

We started the Brotherhood

Just the other day I received a letter from my cousin Chuck Destruction. When he's not playing basketball for pocket money he's usually cutting someone up for mentioning the name Chuck Norris. As far as he is concerned there should only be one Chuck. It's a lot like Highlander in that regard. Anyways, he sent me a letter to talk about some injustices in the world and how we are getting left with the short end of the stick when it comes to a gang. A gang we started!

I started watching this show on History Channel ‘Gangland’ because I thought there would be some good pictures of me with my pals messing around killing dragons with our bare hands and the like, but all I see are these so-called biker gangs like the Mongols, Pagans, Outlaws and the Hells Angels. Where is the Brotherhood? The gang we started and the focus of one of cinemas most shining moments, 1991’s Stone Cold starring none other than Brian Bosworth. In it the Boz has to infiltrate the Brotherhood to try and take them down and to stop them from assassinating the district attorney. That’s what I like my biker gang to do, not only drug dealing, strong arming, pimping or intra gang rivalry, but assassinating bureucrats, that is ballsy. This is also the movie in which Boz makes a milk shake for his monitor lizard that contains;

Whole King Size Snickers Bar
3 Eggs (crack open eggs and empty contents, then throw the shell in)
Tab (honestly have no idea where to find that)
Pepto Bismal

The best part of this movie is when the gangs leader Chains walks into the state capitol dressed as a priest. This guy is wanted all over the state and gets into the capitol because he shaved his beard and dressed like a priest, absolutely brilliant. Nobody even expected him to be armed to the teeth. The guy seriously crashes into a trial on a Harley and starts shooting up the place, Arnold Schwarzenegger eat your heart out. I hope that these other biker gangs can get their shit together and learn from the best.

Truer words have never been spoken. Thats just how our gang does business. The Brotherhood is a gang you don't want to mess with. The movie may have shed light on many illicit activities that the gang participates in but we knew that would happen when we signed the contracts. It just looks like the movie may have made people think the Brotherhood isn't real. I need to send this letter off to the History channel so that I can do one of those interviews in the dark with the voice manipulator. Brotherhood for life.


5thyear said...

you would think that these evil movie villains would at least have the wherewithal (first time I've used that word and I like it) to organize some kind of Palm Springs convention where they could all get together and discuss evil plans for the upcoming years and trade some tricks of the trade. Every year the convention could be hosted by a different person: Hanz Gruber Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg (Gary Oldman, Fifth Element) or Simon Phoenix.

Anonymous said...

boz has some current UCLA connections fyi'S+BOYS+ARE+UCLA'S+KOREY+AND+KYLE+BOSWORTH+FOLLOWING+IN+UNCLE...-a0136233194