Thursday, February 12, 2009

What have I done to the people of Utah and Delaware?

Lately I have been playing around with the analytics program from google. It allows you to see different metrics about your blog all for the extremely low price of free. One of the cooler features is that you can see which state the visitor of your blog comes from. I managed to find a way to look at the past year and what states those visitors hail from. The only states that did not have a visitor were Delaware and Utah. What did I do to you guys? Did I say something I shouldn’t have? That is why I am pulling out all the stops and asking you the reader to help me find someone from these states to read my blog.
I will do whatever it takes in order for this to happen. Some of the things I will do include;

Having both the Utah and Delaware state flags tattooed on each ass cheek.

Trying out polygamy

Stop referring to Utah’s state outline as boring and unimaginative

Move to Provo

Get a tattoo of a Ladybug (Delaware’s State Bug)

Start rooting for the Jazz

Stop listening to Jazz

Not laugh during the part in Wayne’s World were they make fun of Delaware

Stop swearing so gosh dang much

If these don’t work I am going to have to drive out to one of these states and visit the site myself. Please don’t make me do that. I can’t stand long trips and my explosive diarrhea has been acting up again.

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