Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I will %*& *#@! Time Magazine for their stupidty

What does a guy have to do in order to get on Time magazine’s list for most influential people of 2009? It very well may be murder because the idiocy of people voting on this list is horrifying. It seems as though the people who read Time magazine consider Brittney Spears and the Jonas Brothers to be far more influential than our newly elected President. What is even more unbelievable is that I didn’t even crack the top 100. Let’s just go over a few things I accomplished this year;

Hanglided in space

Surfed Mavericks on a Taco Bell tray

Set the world record for time spent in a Ballcuzzi (article later this week)

Worked on a blog entirely about samiches

Watched the entire Golden Girls series (rest in peace Bea) in one sitting

That is just the tip of the iceberg and I am not even on the outside looking in for this list. I guess I just have to be a lot more image conscious in this day and age. Perhaps, if I had people who promoted me more, things would be different. This year I am going to do things that will promote me into becoming what Time readers consider influential. I am going to follow the career arc of rain and make it big in South Korea.

1 comment:

AL ONION said...

Well Burt, I agree with you that this list is fairly inconsequential due to its many ommissions of excellent folk. But....you have to admit to the profound impact of Spear's big comeback on everyone - fuck man, changed my life!

I don't know what I would have done standing in the grocery line if I wouldn't have been able to read whether she had gained weight with chunky curd thighs, showed her cooter while bumping rails at McRonalds, or about her current rank on the muffin tops scale. And how about the uplifting story of her new black bikini, album of shitpops and that handsome new supportive manfriend. Ahh yes sheeeeeess baaaccccck. INFLUENTIAL!