Monday, April 27, 2009


I’m no doctor (well maybe a little bit of a freelance gynecologist HUZZAH) but this swine flu thing is starting to get me a little worried. Obviously, this is an attempt from the pig tribe to take out humans once and for all. Not so fast little piggies! You think you could just infect all of the humans and then the world is yours? I think not. I understand that after a lifetime of wallowing in your own shit you probably think it smells like roses now. It is that same flawed logic that makes you think this plan will work. Well, news flash porkchop! It was over before it even started.

I am currently working on putting together a crack team of commandos whose only purpose is to destroy the pig menace. I will also be presenting legislation that requires all pigs to be bred in containment factories. It is going to look something like this;

The question still remains as to why I would spend my time on a complex project that should be handled by our government. Quite frankly, there are two reasons. One, I hate the stupid looks on pigs stupid faces. Two, if we run out of bacon I die. So if you are free today, kill a pig and eat its insides.

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