Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Blogfather


A business partner of mine Douglass P. Fresh was discussing a bold new strategy into making this blog the Cadillac of incoherent ramblings. He has suggested that I follow the code of Omertà, or the Italian mafia’s code of honor. It is a tremendous idea. For two long I have sat idly while others have risen to power. That is all about to end for you see I have become the Blogfather.
There is a new Don on the street to discuss masturbation and the need for Snow Dogs 2. Burt “the face” Destruction rules the blogosphere with an iron fist and horribly flawed logic. In no time the Destruction family will rise. We just need to follow a few simple rules;

Never talk business on another person’s blog. There are way too many people watching and stupid mistakes like that will get you killed.

I will only do favors for people when someone is brave enough to advertise for wedding sites on my blog. Then and only then!

If a person does not like my blog we will infilitrate their house at night, find their laptop, rip it in half, and put it in their bed while they are sleeping.

We will charge people for internet protection.

If other blogs get in the way, hits will be called out and programmers will sleep with the fishes.

This is not a threat. It’s more of a warning to not disturb the family business, a very serious warning that could end in death or getting your toilet upperdecked.

4 comments:

5thyear said...
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5thyear said...
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5thyear said...

Blogfather Rule 47: Thou shall "get whacked" if one "whacks it" on another man's keyboard.

doug said...

you can't shut the door on the blogfather because he's the motherfucker who made the walls cave in.