Thursday, March 12, 2009

Survey: Greatest Movie Villain of all Time

Last weeks post from my cousin Chuck detailed the glory that is the movie Stone Cold. In his letter Chuck speaks volumes about the Brotherhood’s gang leader Chains (that’s him above). Chains is the type of bad guy that puts people’s hands into moving motorcycle wheels and sends rival gang members heads to their leaders in a fancy box with a bow. He is fucking nuts, you see.

This got me thinking of villains from other movies. The type of character that I would gladly take as an arch nemesis, and there are quite a lot of them. There is the silky smooth business man and karate expert Peter Dellaplane(Craig T. Nelson) from Action Jackson. Another is the corrupt politician Senator Vernon Trent(William Sadler) who kills Steven Segal’s entire family in Hard to Kill. So many to choose from but in the end I had to pick a favorite. I pick CHONG LI.

You may remember Chong Li(Bolo Yeung) from a little movie called Bloodsport. A movie that showcases the underground battle know as the Kumite and JCVD’s skills at doing the splits. Chong Li is great for so many reasons but I thought I would list a few;

He flexes his titties after killing guys in the ring.

He hates JCVD for no apparent reason.

He speaks very few lines but they are powerful. “Very good. But brick not hit back!”

He crushes ogres skull in and takes his Harley Davidson bandana.

He cheats in the final fight.

All tremendous reasons for why I have selected him as my top villain of all time. Now I want to hear from you. Who is, in your opinion, the greatest movie villain of all time? You can just say a name but explanations make it so much better.


Anonymous said...

Brewmeister Smith - Strange Brew....the man was diabolical

Anonymous said...

The crazy Jamaican witch doctor guy from Out for Justice. He just will not die!

D. Russo said...

This is fairly obvious. Bennett...from Commando. You're not sure if he wants to kill you, or sodomize you with his pistol. Pun very much intended. Not only does he wear chain mail t shirts, he also sports the leather pants to match. This bad guys mom was so Catholic he has repressed his gayness all the way to ultra Villian-hood. Bennett is certified bad guy all the way to the Colonic Store.

Andy said...

Doc Hawkins (Busey) in Surving the Game. He actually hunts midgets in Mexico in real life.

Pat said...

Johnny Lawrence...Karate Kid...that guy was a serious D-Bag!!!

Close second...David LoPan-Big Trouble, Little China...however he is also the most comedic in that film as well..."Here take the BITCH!"

Burt Destruction said...

Pat? As in Pat Morita? Or should I say Mr. Miyagi from beyond the grave?

Pat said...

Pat as in Patrick Brady...colleague of a one A. Rogerson. But I think I will set my blog alias as Ricky Slade...Got intro'd to this space a week back while I was in the Riverbed John. Got a kick out of the Robert Browney Jr call.

Conorj said...

You guys are all wrong. Everyone knows that the greatest villain of all time is Mr. Duchamp from Stand by Me. This guy doesn't even have to show up on film to be the biggest badass in the movie. First, he storms the beaches of Normandy. Then he takes Corey Feldman's ear to a stove and gets sent to the looney bin.

"Oh, what's that Kiefer? You've got a 5 o'clock shadow and a switchblade? I got a stove. Pussy."

2nd Place: Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

AL ONION said...

The Night Slasher from the critically acclaimed film Cobra is definitely a strong candidate. He is the leader of the "New Order" of supremicists who plan to kill all the weaklings and pussies in the world, thus making it a very tough place to raise a family of more weaklings.
He's got a sweet knife with hand spikes and he's calls Stallone a pig.
"You're the disease, and I'm the cure"

chuck destruction said...

I still think chains is the best, but the henchman from road house that wears all denim and has a roundhouse kick that could hit your knee is one of my favorite. As well as sub-zero from running man...once sub-zero now plain zero

Ricky Slade said...

Whoever said Night Slasher...Kudos...That's a hell of a call! I wish I had thought of that one...Somebody call the Cobra!

haymshlay said...

Its a tough discussion, but in my mind there can be only one; Ursula the sea witch from The Little Mermaid. She's a frickin Octopus that does black magic. Tell me you wouldn't be scared rolling up on that. She can also trick your mind by posing as a hot chick while really being a fat transvestite looking octopus sea witch, just like a fat chick on MySpace that only shows a quarter of her face so you can't tell she is a hag.

5thyear said...

Well played suggestions but child's play....speaking of child's play no man has molested more kids in movies than the greatest villain of all time, Kevin Bacon. KB, "ya, I liked the script for Hollow Man 2, the money's right but where was the part where I molest kids, I don't think you've read my contracts buddy."
The Woodsman, Mystic River, Trapped, Sleepers and White Water Summer all deal some kind of kid diddling theme. Darth Vader can lightsabre your arm off, Johnny Lawrence can give you a roundhouse concussion but no one but Kevin Bacon gave give you emotional scars that last a lifetime. Fuck Yall suck my dick NI$&A ASS!

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