BOOOO HOOOOO

I am fascinated by people in the entertainment industry, but not in a positive way. What interests me more than anything is the constant whining from people who make millions upon millions of dollars a year. It always seems like there is someone or something that is making their lives miserable. They complain that the paparazzi follow them too much or that people just won’t let them live their own private lives (LEAVE BRITTANEY ALONE!!!!!). Well, what the fuck are we supposed to do? Should we avert our eyes in public? Should I stop masturbating by their windows at night? I don’t think so. There is a better plan for celebrities who have it so hard. Give it all up.

That’s right. Quit! If all of this bothers you so much why don’t you just quit. Move away with all of your money to an island filled with monkey butlers. I am pretty sure that the paparazzo doesn’t have that many boats at their disposal. Why not shoot yourself into space with Richard Branson and stay there? Build an underwater house guarded by killer whales. I don’t give a shit. Just stop complaining about the byproduct of being famous.

The problem is that people who complain the most don’t really mean what they are saying. They actually relish being able to complain about something to people in their otherwise uncomplicated lives. So the next time that you want to voice feelings about the horrible struggle that is your life, think about people who hardly have the means to survive and what they might complain about. Or think about the guy who has crabs so big that red lobster wants to buy them.