The gauntlet has been thrown down

Well this morning I received a little notice on Facebook from my friend the real magician letting me know that my beard is in no way equal to that of Jack Hugeman. First of all, I have been growing my beard for the better part of three decades. It has been declared legally bulletproof and it houses four types of poisonous bugs that make lice shit their pants. This beard can operate independantly of myself it has such a life of its own. Secondly, and much more importantly, Jack Hugeman is a hack. He is the poor man's version of me only he is from Australia. The only cool things that he has going for him are his accent and the electronic terminator like eye that he has(I took his other eye in a knife fight). So my magic friend, I would take a little time to think before you insult me again or you are going to end up looking like this;

Nice eye fancy lad. Oh and Hugeman, if I even get a whiff of you talking shit about me, I am taking that other eye out and shoving it up your dickhole.