Monday, March 30, 2009

My asshole is an asshole

I have got a bone to pick with an asshole, more specifically my asshole. Sometimes I just do not get you. What is your problem? Here I am minding my own business on a Sunday and all of a sudden you go out of your way to start getting itchy. What. The. Fuck? I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting comfortable in a new jock strap(yes, I wear a jockstrap instead of underwear. I find that the underwear is restrictive and that the breathe ability is something that I have grown accustomed to. The great thing about the jock is that it keeps my balls out of the nether regions and for the most part keeps them from smelling. Of course, it also helps that I use a combination of baby powder and fresh lilac to powder my balls daily. Wait, could this be the reason that my ass itches in the firs place? Oh shit. Maybe the combination of the jock and my daily powder could have something to do with the random ass itches. I will have to look into that by doing a series of tests applying the powder directly to the anus. Yeah, that will work. I just need to get someone who can take notes and possibly help with application. Oh man, wait a second, did I leave my oven on. Fuck! I think it is on. Could I leave it on all day? Probably not a good idea. Yeah I will go home for lunch and turn it off. Then I can save money by making a sandwich at home. I think I have some salame left but I can’t be sure. Oh wait forget the sandwich. I don’t have any bread.) Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah an itchy butthole. That stuff sucks.

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